THURSDAY DECEMBER 12
“Don’t
exasperate your children.” Eph 6:4 TM
DICTATOR,
DOORMAT OR DIPLOMAT? (1)
Parenting children between puberty and young
adulthood draws on every ounce of grace and wisdom you can muster. Your effort
to train them, and their drive for independence, is a tug of war that
frustrates you both. The outcome depends largely on which of three classic
parenting styles you follow. Though parents with each style want the best for
their kids, some styles work well and some don’t. Let’s examine each. The authoritarian style. Some parents
announce, “I make the rules and you follow them! Don’t question me, obey me.”
Compliance at all times, respect for authority, traditional values and hard
work are demanded. “There is only one opinion here—mine. All other opinions are
considered mutiny!” Authoritarians don’t tolerate losing face, don’t apologize
or admit fault. They are blame-oriented, legalistic, judgmental, shaming, and belittling;
expecting, yet exposing the worst in their kids. By coming down hard on them
too hard, they provoke confrontations, then punish them harshly and
unreasonably. Often they use Scripture to bolster their position. Let’s look at
the pulses of this style; the rules are clear; it establishes chain of command;
it speeds up the child’s response; it’s effective with very young and insecure
kids, and can be useful in crisis times. Now let’s look at the minuses; it inhibits
a child’s healthy individuation process; it retards mature communication; it
promotes social dependence and incompetence; it discourages decision-making and
initiative-taking skills; it elevates social anxiety and depression; it
increases the likelihood of your child being intimidated and bullied, etc.
Authoritarians may maintain military-style discipline, but they seldom rear
happy, healthy, creative kids!
Taken
from the Word for You Today Devotional
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