SUNDAY
JUNE 22, 2014.
'...like a city with broken-down
walls.' Proverbs 25:28 NLT
Set
Boundaries (3)
Permeable
boundaries. Well-adjusted people find the right balance which allows them to
invite others into their personal space without allowing infiltration,
manipulation or domination. They know how to say "yes" to what's
healthy and "no" to what's not. Permeable boundary people, on the
other hand, allow others to permeate their lives at will, siphon off their time
and energy, dictate their options, and deprive them of other important
relationships. Unable to say "no", they permit others to make them
feel guilty, obligated, uncaring, or even unchristian if they withhold what's
demanded. They inconvenience themselves, their families and their friendships
to facilitate the endless demands of the seemingly helpless, disempowered,
irresponsible user, believing they are being kind and helpful. The helper's
toll is immense, often leading to emotional, physical, social and spiritual
overload, while the helped feels increasingly dependent, irresponsible and
entitled - not appreciating, and sometimes even resenting, the helper's
efforts. Permeable boundary people are unaware that their 'open' sign is always
illuminated, attracting a deluge of other people's needs they feel personally
responsible for. They carry the weight of much that's wrong in the world,
feeling exhausted, anxious, inadequate and guilty, taking it personally that
they can't do more and fix things. And it leaves them feeling 'used'. 'A person
without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.' Understand this:
You can't take charge of your own life while you're overwhelmed feeling
responsible for other people's lives. Set some boundaries, and live the life
God gave you to live!
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